


Goodbye World

by PrinceOfHell00



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Crying Sam Winchester, Deathfic, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Sad Ending, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-28 00:19:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14437347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceOfHell00/pseuds/PrinceOfHell00
Summary: Dean gets bitten by a zombie, and Sam must be the one to see to it that his brother doesn't become another walking corpse, even if it means losing the one person he's ever truly loved.





	Goodbye World

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse the not-so-great writing of this story. This is a fic I did almost 3 years ago that was originally on my Wattpad account, but I decided to still move it over here because it was a story I was very proud of back when I first posted it. And I do hope you can still get some enjoyment out it, though. :3

Sam's POV

Why? Why did this have to happen to him? I wouldn't wish this upon any other person that's still alive on this god forsaken planet, but why? Just why did it have to happen to my brother... who I'm in love with.

"There has to be something we can do to stop you from turning." I say looking toward Dean as we walk to who knows where.

He doesn't say anything, just looks straight ahead with a unreadable expression, holding his bloody bitten arm.

I look back ahead as we keep walking, trying to think of a way to get him out of this. Dammit, there just has to be a way, think Sam think...... What if we... yeah it might work, maybe, just maybe it could. I look back towards Dean. "What if- what if we try to... to cut it off, like with dad." I look down as I whisper the last three words.

He stops walking, and finally looks at me, I kinda wish he didn't though. He looks so pale, he definitely has a fever, he's angry, and is that fear? The last time I saw Dean afraid was when I was sixteen and got separated from him and dad, on a supplies run.

I remember he had so much relief in his eyes when I had somehow found my way back to where he was, yet they still held fear when he gathered me into his arms, and I think that was the moment when I fell in love with him. But now, there's just fear in his eyes.

"Really Sam!? That's the best idea you can come up with? Yeah, let's cut my arm off and make me feel more pain, let me feel even more scared than I already am! Don't you think dad would still be here if that would have worked! Huh Sam!? Huh!?" he yells.

"I know that, Dean, don't you think I know that." I look down trying to control the tears I feel welling up, and start talking again.

"And yeah, that's the best idea I can come up with, but I'm trying, Dean! I don't- can't lose my brother that I... I... that I'm in love with!" I look back up, Dean's eyes are wide, but I continue with my confession. "I've loved since the day I got separated from you and dad. I was so scared, Dean, scared that I would never see you again, but once I found you I felt so many emotions, relief, calm, happy, love. And when you wrapped your arms around me, I felt so warm, and safe. When I looked into your eyes, that's when I realized, I was in love with you. I love you, Dean." I finish as the tears start streaming down my face.

I just stand there, feeling the hot tears rapidly flow down my face, shaking from the sobs I refuse to let out. I can't look at him, I just can't, I don't want to see the hate and disgust on his face. Oh god! What have I-

My thoughts come to a halt when I feel myself being pulled into Dean's strong, warm arms. I wrap my arms around him, and bury my face in his neck. I feel his fingers run through my hair, when I was younger and I would feel sad or scared, Dean would always run his fingers through my hair to help calm me. Tears are still falling down my face, but not like before. 

"Sammy, I love you too, I've loved since that day as well. God Sammy, I was so friggin scared I would never see you again, either. I felt like the world became a even crapper place than it already was, but when you found me, and when I held you in my arms I knew I was in love with you. I love you so much, Sammy." 

I pull back just enough to look into his eyes, to see if he really meant what he said. "Do you really mean that, Dean?" I sniffle

"Yeah Sammy, I really did, I love you." he says with so much love and honesty in his voice, that I feel like my heart might burst with the love I hold for him, and that was all I needed to hear.

"I love you too, Dean." I wrap my arms around his neck, his arms around my back, and bring my face close to his and close the gap between us.

Oh my god, I can't believe I'm actually kissing my brother, the love of my life. His arms feel so strong and warm around me, and god, he tastes even better than I imagined. I just wish-

My thoughts again come to a halt, along with the heavenly kiss, when Dean pulls away, stepping back with a gasp and a very scared expression on his face. 

"Dean, what's wrong?" I ask, but I think I already know. Dammit. 

"I- when I opened my eyes, I thought you were one of those evil sons of bitches." I knew it. He's starting to hallucinate. 'It's' starting.

"Sam, It's time. You need to put me out." what...?

I just stare at him with blank expression. 

He sighs, and starts talking again, I just stay silent and let him speak. "Sammy, you knew it was gonna end up coming to this, I hate this, but I flat out refuse to become one of those monsters." 

"I- I can't, Dean." I whisper, holding back tears.

He walks back up to me and cradles my face with his strong, warm hands and pulls me down into a short, yet sweet kiss. When he pulls away are eyes lock, and I can see his beautiful bright green eyes are now dull and filled with pain, yet I still see the love he holds for me, I can't help but let a few tears escape. 

He speaks as he wipes my tears away, still holding my face. "Sammy, I love you so much, and I'm sorry it has to end this way, but this isn't something you or me can fix." 

"I- I know that, Dean, and I love you too. That's why I can't, I... I just can't." I whisper. 

He sighs and takes his hands away from my face, but doesn't back away. "Sam, take a good look at me. I'm done for, I can't go on anymore. I'm so tired, and in so much pain that I can barely stand it. Sammy, I love you so friggin much, and I always will, but I need you to do this for me, please." his voice cracks at the end, and his eyes are glossy, but he doesn't shed a single tear.

God, I love him so much, and I really don't want to do this, but seeing how much pain he's in is something I just can't bear to watch. He doesn't deserve to suffer, dammit!

I have to do it, I don't want him to suffer anymore. I sigh. "okay, I'll do it." I say in a hushed tone.

"Thank you, Sammy." he says with a sad smile.

I watch as Dean grabs the gray pistol that he's always carried, in his back pocket. He holds it out to me, I gulp, and take it hesitantly. I take a few steps back, and take a deep breathe to try and will my hands not to shake.

"Well, I guess this is the end of the road for me, Sammy." he sighs before continuing. "I'm really sorry for not telling you how I felt sooner, if I had then we could have been more than just brothers." he apologizes.

"Dean, you have no reason to apologize."

"But, Sam-" he begins, but I cut him off before he can say anything. 

"No buts, Dean. I was okay with at least being your brother, yes I wanted to be more than that, but as long as I was by your side I was happy." I give a small smile.

"I felt the exact same way, Sammy, as long as I had you by my side I was happy." he says with a pained smile.

He sighs again before saying, "Sam, I need you to promise me something." he pauses, then continues. "I need you to promise me, that you'll keep living for the both of us." 

My eyes widen, I don't know if I can make that kind of promise, a life without Dean is something I don't know if I can handle for very long. After staying silent for a bit, I finally stutter out, "I- I don't know if I c- can make that p- promise, Dean. I just..." I trail off.

He frowns at me and says, "Sammy, please just promise me, please."

He's pretty much begging at this point, and it makes me feel so horrible how I may not be able to keep such a promise. I have to promise him though, I don't know if I'll be able to keep it, but I'll promise him. I gulp. "I promise, Dean." I say with as much honesty as I can muster.

He gives a small nod of approval, and says, "Thank you, Sammy." he smiles and closes his eyes.

I take that as the signal to do what I'm supposed to. I aim the gun straight at his head, but before I shoot, he speaks one last time. "I love you."

Tears well up in my eyes, I swallow the lump in my throat. "I love you too." I say just loud enough for him to hear, then pull the trigger. 

BANG! THUD!

I watch as the bullet goes through his head, and his body fall to the ground. Blood starts pooling around his head, I feel sick. My breathing is starting to speed up, and my eyes are now wide with the realization of what I've just down. I killed my brother, the love of my life. 

Oh god, oh god, I just killed my brother! What- what am I gonna do, I- I- I- OH GOD! I- I can't b- breath. Ok, ok, I gotta b- breath. In and out. In and out. In and out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In out. I run my hands through my hair. Okay, I'm fine, I'm fine. What hell am I saying, I'm not fine, Dean's gone. I'll never see his beautiful green eyes, his gorgeous smile, or hear his wonderful laugh, and I'll never feel his strong arms hold me ever again. 

I somehow manage to walk to his now lifeless body, and collapse on my knees beside him. I stare at his once lively face which is now emotionless, and will be forever. I feel the tears start streaming down my face once again, I cradle his pale face between my hands, and start sobbing like I've never before. I feel like my heart's being ripped into tiny pieces and thrown out a window. 

"I- I- I'm so s- s- sorry, Dean! I- I w- wasn't there w- when that b- b- bastard got you! I sh - should have b- been there, dammit. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I- I'm s- so s- s- sorryyyyyyy! P- please come b- back to m- me, I love you, I love you, I love you! I'm s- sorry please c- come b- b- back to me! I need my big brother, p- p- pleaseeeeeeee! Aaahhhh! Huh! Ha- ha- haaaaaa! Aaaaaahhhhhh!" I continue to sob uncontrollably above his face, which still remains in my hands.

My sobbing slowly starts easing up, along with my tears. I let go of his face and sit back on my knees for a few minutes, sniffling loudly. After I've calmed down, enough I stand back up on shaky legs.

I... I can't live without him. I refuse to even try to live without him, I know I promised him that I would, but I just can't! It's not possible! Maybe I'm just weak, but I don't care. Dean was my whole world, he was my big brother, my rock, my anchor, and most of all, the one I fell in love with. I can't. I'm sorry, Dean, but I really can't live without you. Forgive me, I'll see you soon.

I smile at the thought, and walk to where I dropped the pistol. I didn't even notice when I did. I pick it up, then walk back to where I was and point it to my temple. I take a deep breathe. "I'll see you soon, my love." I close my eyes, still smiling.

"Goodbye, world." 

BANG! THUD!

END

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment and/or kudos if you enjoyed, and may you have a great day or night! ^_^


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